the first time i tripped over her weaker side, it wasn't one of my best experiences. She had been moving around in circles , just decreasing in her altitude all the same. Just when i thought i had achieved a safeguard, i tumbled off the edge and rolled down a few hundred meters. it wasn't the first time i'd fallen, it wasn't the first of my scars, and yet, the pain was unnerving. No matter how hard i try to forget her, i will never forget the first time i ran off the trail on my way down from a mountain Summit.

She'd usually welcome me into her arms, when i was tired, hungry and sleepy. She'd invite me to a personal corner close to her, she'd make me believe i would heal. I'd spend the night with her, then get up and pack my bags. I was a loyal lover, but there were so many lovers to comprehend.

sometimes she would get moody, be hot and cold all the same. But whether i felt dehydrated or frostbitten, she would always give me my space.

i allowed myself to climb over her, make good use of the voids within her presence, and then i'd climb higher and set up camps where she felt most comfortable with the terrain. maybe i was just fooling around, no mountaineers are ever loyal to their mistress, yet somehow they always return to old places and rejoice the love they find within familiar faces.

sometimes our relationship would get cloudy, i'd walk relentlessly through the rain. she'd turn water into snow, and i'd keep fighting her wrath all the same. when i rewind back to the number of times she let me down, or pushed me into a crevice to watch me drown, i sometimes adopt a feeling of hate, then i realize how moody i've been off late.

ive been a sour lover, i haven't been the best man, travelling along these mountain peaks, i haven't even had too many fans. i guess well forever indulge in the scrutiny of this bittersweet relationship. Yet, ill never forget that one time, when i tripped and she let me off her cliff.

my ode to the Mountain Peaks.

sacred beliefs.
delusions alike.
beautiful thieves.
a hidden spike.
broken hearts.
frozen laces.
missing parts.
mild traces.
watery eyes.
mystical beads.
comforting lies.
blooming seeds.
lively perfection.
bubbling hate.
noble detection.
relentless fate.
eventful revival.
spotless clean.
graceful survival.
so obscene.
charming seduction.
a burning card.
foolish deduction.
life is hard.
hidden mist.
morbid desires.
shopping list.
emerald fires.
greener grass.
solid fortune.
prominent class.
rings of neptune.
slithering sand.
mystified place.
hand in hand.
smiley face.
prominent moon.
screaming sea.
early afternoon.
you and me.

what if you were given exactly 10 minutes to describe your most memorable holiday trip? What would you write? A website registration forced me to think and i complied without aggression -

my most memorable holiday trip lasted for a duration of 11 days during which i experienced what it feels like to live through a self intuitive fairy tale. My journey began on a train to south India and ended on the beaches of Goa. During this trip, i learned what it means to be all alone and travel across my own country without any sense of security, as the only person i could blame for any misadventure that would have befallen would be myself.

There were times when i would break down due to emotional reasons or simply the weight of my own travel bags. But i got right up and walked long distances with the hope of finding something refreshing in nothing but the atmosphere itself. Not only did i make good friends along the way and visit many fascinating locations, but to add the cherry on top of my metaphorical cake, i met my soul mate on the beaches of Goa as my trip came to its conclusion.

She herself is a traveler and we have already formulated plans to travel the world together and witness miracles from each others eyes. I wish for every dreamer to leave on a journey of his own in order to be able to discover what life is truly about. Only by travelling alone can one realize what truly matters to him as an individual. Only someone who has no hands to hold can dare to walk with his head held high in pursuit of undiluted happiness.

So much for Online Jobs? Well, i got hired.

i'm trying really hard you know, to try and fabricate some sense of stability in my life before you get here. i'm beginning to dislike wasting even an hour or two on things that were basic instincts to me before you walked in and turned my world into this glowing source of energy. i feel lucky to have met you like i did, i feel blessed to have fallen in love with you.

sometimes all that i require to be able to give my best effort towards something is a picture of you displayed across my computer screen. forgive me for staring, but you are something so divinely beautiful, one has to look.

i feel disintegrated living so far away from you.

i guess distances test the strength of true desire.

you make me feel, what must be felt by very few.

your eyes are all it takes to ignite my fire.

so let me be alone for now, but not for too long.

keep me waiting for a while, then come show yourself.

ill heal you with my voice, comfort me with your song.

your memories are lying safely upon my broken shelf.

in the last few weeks i've lived like i've never lived before, loved like there was no tomorrow. dreamed just to add to the spirituality of my reality and believed like i knew that it was an extension to what i needed to create.

And to think that we haven't even been together all this time, i wish i could break into a parallel dimension where our souls could roam freely, yours and mine, where we would have to pay no attention to the physical nature of this man-made world, where all that really mattered would be us, our happiness, our tranquility.

wish these days would just fly by and i'd reach the junction to where we are and where we will be. that way i'd be able to encapsulate my hearts forever increasing potential into a big sphere of gratitude, towards you, towards what you've given to me. free emotion. infinite grace. everlasting memories.

ive lived my entire life depending upon pre-existing forces of nature to carry me to places which i already knew existed. but for the first time, i am being carried to a heavenly realm which i never knew of. the peace it creates is preserved inside the depth of our minds and the solace it grants to our formidably resistant spirits is by far the most intricate part of our lives.

just counting the minutes till i see you again. Its gonna be a long countdown.
i know.
but ill still be me, you'll still be you.
and everything, will always be brand new.

and now your even further away, but my mind keeps bringing you closer to me.

i wish i could go back to that moment in time when i first met you at the base of those staircases. when i first looked into your eyes and realized that this was no ordinary stare. when i saw you look back at me with the slightest bit of interest and yet somehow, i knew we were gonna make it.

No wonder Kodi liked resting so close to your heart. its made of gold you know. and it radiates the warmth of the sun.

i always wondered what it would feel like to share a nice romantic evening on the beach with the missing fragment of my soul. then you came by and dreams came true.

now that i think of it, we never would have met the way we did, had it not been for the innocent baby resting on my shoulder.
its hard to believe what life would have been like had i not met you that sacred evening.

no matter how much i may deny the capacity of your clairvoyance, i am a wreck without you by my side. i'm not sure as to how i survived my past, but i do know that the reason i am in love with my present is because you unwillingly mortify all the sorrow that once existed inside of me. and the only purpose behind my search for the future is the desire to be able to hold you in my arms once again.

i was always too emotional for my own good. but something tells me that this is different.

my eyes could stay closed, but my fingers automatically type in everything that my heart needs to render, without looking for an excuse to stop trying.

i don't really know what you thought about me the day you saw me break into those uncontrollable tears. was i man enough to make you believe that those tears weren't a sign of weakness, but simply just expressions of sadness?

your so far away, yet your presence lingers, somewhere close to me, maybe closer than i know, and just as i think of inviting it towards myself, i realize that the place where you reside is somewhere deep down inside of me.

ill keep writing. just keep reading. these lines are the plea of a neglected heart.
my soul keeps igniting. just keep breathing. i've loved you right from the start.

only yours.
Aman

it all began with a kitten.

sometimes, all that a person requires to begin revolving his world around the certainty of intuition are his own solid beliefs.
sometimes, all it takes for a mind to believe in god is a supernatural feeling emanating from within ones own desires.

you wouldn't know, until you've lived through what would have been a near death experience, with nothing but a sore knee.

maybe, this is all too far-fetched a coincidence to allow anyone apart from myself the leisure to comment on the concept of this virtual reality.
maybe, all these thoughts inside my head are nothing but the insanity produced from the undeniable abuse of artificially created substances.

but then again, maybe, all this is exactly what the universe normally denies it to be, simply because blatant curiosity is a virtue possessed by very few people.

what makes a person believe that the only things that matter in life are the physical aspects of this world that we can see, touch and feel?
what makes a broken heart believe in its betterment, even though every possible method of its revival is modeled towards extinction?

these are two very different questions, yet their answers go hand in hand. Go figure.

the reason that a person generally trusts his emotions over his wisdom is because his feelings come from within, but his knowledge is simply what he acquired from the universe.
the reason we tend to overlook logic in certain spheres of life is because gut feeling counts for a lot in this race to survival.

i'm talking about the prosperity that lies within your mind.
i'm speaking about the diversity that lives inside your soul.

this might not be the best post i've written, but it definitely is the most intelligent one. i've spent all my life so far talking about girls who broke my heart and never looked back. and even though for the first time i seem to be truly, hopelessly in love with someone, i haven't had the courage to mention her yet.

have you ever felt 'warm' shivers build up inside the back of your head and slowly take control of your conscience and then your entire body?
have you ever felt the need for your spirit to reside on this plane even after you were gone, with the motive of protecting someone you barely knew?

if you have, which i highly doubt, then have you ever felt those surges with regard to a complete stranger?
No you haven't.
what makes me different?
i have.

This ones just for you, Judy Chang.